Caller: Do you know you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar?
Me: Why would I want to catch flies?
Caller: I'm talking about the stuff you say. You are mean spirited and will never be able to attract customers with your filthy mouth and your sarcastic-ism.
Me: I think you meant sarcasm.
Caller: Well whatever, you are going to die off just like those filthy mouthed comedians.
Me: And what does this have to do with catching flies?
Caller: You know exactly what I mean, SIR! You're doomed.
Me: Well I appreciate your vote of confidence but Last night I was out feeding the hogs. I have two and they are just about ready for Thanksgiving festivities. My mother in law lives in the same holler and was outside with a friend of hers from church.
They walked over to take a look at my piggies. After introductions, this friend of Mom's says, “Are these pets?”
No mam, these right here are two well fed, fat hogs that are going to join us for Thanksgiving dinner.
Her: You have to be kidding me!?! You have them in this nice lot and have boards down to keep them clean. Why would you ever?
Me: Well the boards or pallets as I like to call them are to keep them from rooting around. Right before they are fattened up, you want to keep them from rooting and only feed them corn and table scraps. This makes the meat taste better.
Her: But, but you are going to kill them?
Me: Yes, but they were going to die anyway. Pigs don't live forever and Lord knows I can't afford them when they become elderly and need health care.
Her: But these are God's creatures.
Me: Well actually they are mine, yes – I bought these at the livestock auction and I'm pretty sure the seller was Mr. Lumpkin, not God.
Her: We are all God's creatures!
Me: I don't have time to debate scripture with you right now, but why did God create carnivores if he didn't want them to eat meat? You know meat doesn't come from the store, right?
Her: Yes, but I'm a Vegan and I don't eat any animal products.
Me: You know that we are all made up of carbon, as in carbon life forms? You know that by eating only vegetables, you are still eating carbon life forms?
Her: Plants are different, they don't have souls.
Me: Oh Jesus (under my breath) – How do you know that? How do you know that plants don't have souls?
And off she went. She and my mother in law walked back toward her house. I can't win.
If I eat meat, the vegetarians and vegans get pissed and if I don't eat meat, the damn carnivores are going to call me sissy names.
Caller: Well that is ridiculous, you just wasted my time on some stupid vegan- tarian story and she's wrong, animals don't have souls. Any Christian knows that.
Me: No mam, I just wanted to point out that you can't please everyone all the time.
Caller: Well you certainly don't have to be so mean. Everybody loves a nice person.
Me: So instead of being myself, helping others and sharing so others can succ [CLICK]
Hung up on me, she did. Just like that.
Often we get caught up in this game of pleasing everyone. It's impossible.
You can carry every known condiment on your cart so that everyone is pleased, you could hand butter and grill every bun before it's served, you could carry vegetarian hot dogs for the two customers that might stop by today and you can slowly drive yourself bonkers in an attempt to be all things to everyone.
Note I said, attempt. What you will get is, worn out and you will quickly find that you are wasting dollars, time and effort. And still some snobby bitch is going to complain because you are using styrofoam or not using recycled napkins.
I once had a lady remark about how harmful it was and how many trees, blah, blah – blah. I was tempted to pick up a used napkin from the trashcan nearby and offer it to her. “Here – recycled napkins just for you.” —– I didn't.
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New sign for your trash bin: Recycled Napkins: Help Yourself
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Find your niche, find what brings in the most customers and do it. Don't dare try to please everyone. If you live in an area where veggie dogs would do good, then by all means, but don't set up outside the Nascar track with your veggie dogs in hopes the one guy, in the crowd, comes over.
If someone asks for something you don't have, take a note of it. Remember, write down suggestions and then add them up. Then later you can see if you really had as many people as you remembered that asked for jalepenos.
But don't stop what you're doing and go stock up on jalepenos because one person requests them. Even if they don't order and will never be back, you simply can't be all things to all people.
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1. Hang a sign that says:
⁃ FREE SAMPLES: Try our new Coca Cola Onions
⁃ FREE SAMPLES: Try our new gator dogs
⁃ FREE Taste Test – Try it before you buy it
⁃ You get the point
2. Have a sampler sales person. Just like the Chinese lady, have someone that speaks broken English stand in front of your busy location and offer samples. This can be done by preparing a hot dog on a bun and cutting it into bite sized pieces.
Add a toothpick to each one to hold it together and let them add condiments if you like. Either way, you will be able to see the reciprocal sales tactic in action.
#2 is going to be the most effective method but if you want a more subtle approach:
Offer a money back guarantee. Yes, you heard me right. Hang a sign or when you are chatting to an inquisitive potential customer, say something like this…
You know, I have a money back guarantee. You know why? Because this will be the best hot dog you've ever tried and no one has ever asked for their money back.
Just that simple two lines will instill confidence and will likely turn them into a customer.
When I have my Coca Cola Onions going, I always get the inquisitive customers who ask what I'm fixing or what smells so good. I say, here, try this. Then take a small bite sized portion of onions and lay them on a foil sheet and hand it to them.
“Now imagine that on a premium all beef hot dog.”
You can actually watch their eyes light up. I promise, try it and you will see.
Note: Option 2 works best, but if you don't have a steady stream of passersby (thank you Kevin Curry) then it's not really worth it. Instead use the 3rd option mentioned but offer them a sample, maybe a quarter of a hot dog on a bun.
Samples cost too much? Unless you are Jason Brown of Love Hot Dog Company, you probably have less than a dollar in one prepared hot dog. Cut into fourths that would be about .25 cents a sample. You could give away 80 samples for less than $20 bucks and bring in customers that would have never stopped. If you only get 5 new customers you are ahead, but if you get the Rule of Reciprocity average, you'd bring in about 26 new customers.
At $5.00 for a meal x 26 new customers = $130 minus your $20 in samples, that's a profit of $110 EXTRA Money for the day.
Try it today and let me know your results. Can you beat 34% on the rule of reciprocity?
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